In a world dominated by men, it pays for women always to have each other’s backs. After all, they can rely on one another, sometimes even without the need for words. There are hundreds of girl codes that aren’t necessarily written in a book but are well understood by this population.
As Beyoncé asked, “Who run the world? Girls.” And indeed, women helping and defending their kind is a key ingredient to maintaining a sane society. Here we compiled some of the unspoken rules that are shared worldwide.
Stranger Of The Year Award
We couldn’t imagine how terrifying it must have been for a teenager to be followed in public. However, it could be even scarier for concerned individuals witnessing the ordeal, so kudos to this mom for being protective of this young lady—for this, she deserves the Stranger of the Year Award.
Kidding aside, what the teen felt was understandable. A 2017 Saudi Gazette article noted that the majority of child kidnappings happened in grocery stores and for varying reasons that involve personal issues.
Proud Of My Pockets
One of the unspoken rules in womanhood is that it is customary to praise other girls to boost their confidence, whether by complimenting their new hairstyle or simply appreciating their outfits. In this case, the wearer couldn’t help but brag about the pockets her clothes had.
Of course, dresses that have pockets are rare. The Irish Times notes that this may have stemmed from the feminist issue that women weren’t allowed to carry a lot of things back in the day.
Not Just Women, But Men Want To Help, Too
Menstruation remains a taboo topic in society despite being a biological process for almost all women. Not everyone is comfortable talking about this either, but it could be even more challenging for men to discuss this matter because they don’t exactly know how it feels to endure.
But as it turns out, men do have an idea of how periods go. As such, this post tells us that there are boys who wish to inform females of unexpected “visitor” arrivals.
Eyes On The Drink, Ladies
A 2016 study found that drink spiking is actually more common than we thought because of the 6,000 student respondents, 462 claimed they experienced this, while 83 said they were guilty of doing this at one point.
As such, it is essential to be each other’s lookout when having fun at bars and events. Just like what this social media user stated, there’s nothing wrong in asking a stranger to check on a left-behind beverage–and it pays to pay it forward.
The Great Pretender
There are many reasons a woman suddenly comes up to another girl and pretends they know each other. One, they could be in a scary situation that warranted showing that they weren’t alone. A stranger may be following or threatening them.
As for the second tip on this post, we won’t lose anything if we are generous toward a person in need. While changing a tampon every few hours is recommended, providing one to a woman who needs it badly may save her day!
The ‘Help’ Stare
It was said that there is such a thing as “women’s intuition,” or the ladies’ ability to be seemingly psychic because they can predict and feel what will happen. Science claims that this skill happened due to evolution.
However, some felt that men possess the same ability but because intuition is not regarded as masculine, they don’t practice it that much. Still, we can tell that an exchange of “looks” is interpersonal communication, just like how girls inform others of danger.
United We Stand
They say friends are just sisters from another mother. The relationship that people build with their best pals proves that there is care and love for individuals that aren’t our relatives. Here's great news for women who love to go out with their circle: they wouldn’t need to worry about going home safe!
Plus, going out with friends has many benefits, including reduced stress levels, emotional support, and a sense of belongingness. According to Healthline, a girl squad does increase the level of oxytocin.
Being Available 24/7
Despite being harassed and hurt, many women choose to stay in toxic relationships. Research has shown that people think that it is far more dangerous to leave than if they tolerated everything.
For the majority, the reason may be more about practicality. The Conversation notes that financial and psychological barriers may hinder a woman from mustering her gut to leave. For ladies surrounding the victims, a way to support them is by keeping them busy and telling them that it is OK to talk.
Everyone Needs To Be Cute In The Snap, No Questions Asked
Nights-out wouldn’t be complete without a group selfie, otherwise known as 'groufie.' However, most women understand that for a photo to be uploaded, every participant in the said snap should approve of how they looked in the picture.
We say that the more important thing in this equation is sharing how the circle is when they go out. After all, a study that The Stylist mentions saw that social media users’ self-esteem improved when they viewed group photos, which is quite the opposite when looking at selfies.
Let Her Do Her Business
For most of us, seeing a woman quiet and serious can be alarming. Did something bad happen to them, or do they need something? However, there are times when we simply have to let them be—including when they are taking a dump!
This may not be the funniest or most enjoyable topic to some, but pooping is a necessity. According to Healthline, the majority of feces is actually water. The remaining components are undigested fats, protein, ash, polysaccharides, and bacterial biomass.
Truth Hurts
Not everyone has been in this situation but those who did will understand how difficult it was to decide between telling the truth and staying quiet about the matter. Revealing what was seen can bring relief but this will ultimately hurt a friend.
Nonetheless, it is crucial to tell them what happened. Bustle explains that this will boil down to how that pal will react. They could have misplaced anger toward the witness while others will stay away from the witness.
Shopping Tips Without Asking
Friends will always share where they bought their cute clothes. True pals will tell their peers how much they got their purchases for and if there were any discounts. We know what readers may be thinking: women love to shop so much!
According to a University of Michigan psychologist, it comes naturally for women to shop, linking it to their evolutionary past. The expert said that girls were gatherers back in the day, so they needed to find the best picks in the vegetation.
Number 1 In Rule Book
There’s no problem with being friends with a friend’s boyfriend. But things become complicated when they break up and you develop feelings for that man. While true pals will understand how important this romance is, more often than not, it is not worth pursuing a girl’s former flame.
As per Insider, a friend who is reeling from a breakup, whether it was a mutual decision or not, is a sign not to date their ex. After all, they need a shoulder to cry on at this moment.
Just Be There, Plain And Simple
This unspoken rule isn’t limited to women only. As decent human beings, we should always protect each other in any circumstance. A simple act of random kindness, like following up on a friend who got home by cab or giving away sanitary essentials, may make someone’s day.
For instance, if something bad happens, passersby should intervene. But according to WAVI.org, bystanders tend to ignore or become indifferent toward a situation because they think that others would act on the event.
Be An Angel And Tell Them Without Drama
The thing with women helping other girls is that they have mastered telling them as discreetly as possible. From the slightest wardrobe malfunction to a noticeable makeup blunder, they know how to inform without the additional drama.
One of the most common girl dilemmas is getting lip products on their pearly whites. L’Oréal Paris notes that blotting with a tissue is a smart way to prevent this embarrassing accident from happening. Loose powders will also do wonders to make the look matte.
Be A Literal Life-Saver
There’s no denying that a person who has health struggles feels helpless and lonely a lot of times. This is why friends expressing support is a big thing for them, so it pays to always be around and be as thoughtful as possible.
The American Psychological Association explains that revealing a medical struggle can either make a relationship stronger or strain a connection. As such, they are advised to only tell their problems to the people they trust the most, including their inner circle.
Well, Everyone’s Got To Go At Some Point
Unlike guys, it is somewhat complicated for women to answer the call of nature when outdoors. Well, a true friend will act as a human wall so no passerby can see what’s happening.
According to Glamour Magazine, peeing outside is not allowed in the United States, but laws didn’t stop many people from doing so. Violators, however, can be charged with disorderly conduct. Still, many people contest that they had done this because they needed to and not just because they wanted to.
Be Each Other’s Eyes
Although some students get by in their college life without attending parties, it is safe to say that many have gone on to one during their four years in school. According to College Reality Check, studies have shown that they have fun at bashes at least twice a week.
More often than not, many students become uncontrollable due to beverages which will result in embarrassing moments. As such, friends should always be heaven-sent and protect their pals at all costs.
Support But Don’t Condone
The thing with friends is that they are there to tell us the truth—even if it means having difficult conversations with them. While we should be supportive of whatever decision they make, including getting back with an ex that the circle didn’t approve of, we should also be responsible enough to expose the bad things we see.
Toxic relationships can be hard to notice. As per Healthline, this may involve controlling behaviors, frequent jealousy and envy, disrespect, and ignorance of the other person’s needs.
How To Stop A Conversation With The Wrong Guy
It can be so hard to end an awkward conversation, especially because not everyone likes to say “no.” However, we all go through this experience at some point in our lives, but don’t we all wish to have someone save us from an excruciating moment?
According to Work It Daily, non-verbal cues do wonders in signaling that a person wants to end the discussion. This is somewhat more polite rather than expressing one’s thoughts aggressively. To do this, shift away from the individual and square up the shoulders.
Give The Scrunchie, Pronto
Men may wonder why women have hair ties on their wrists. It is more than for accessorizing but more for practicality. Whenever they accomplish a task that requires physical labor, it is almost instinctive to tie the hair to keep it away from the face.
What’s interesting is that we now use scrunchies for individuality but back in the day, how tresses were styled was based on societal standings. For instance, Queen Victoria had her strands tied tightly when in court but free at home.
The Person Is Off-Limits
This rule also applies to men but is more observed in women. Girls know that when a gal pal has her eyes on a boy, the crush is off-limits. Unfortunately, despite the unspoken rule, two people can fall for the same person.
If it is inevitable, talk to your friend about it. Insider advises treading the conversation slowly and carefully because this is an awkward topic and may elicit different emotions. However, it is important not to hurt any feelings.
Five-Minute Rule For Girls
Whether it is about the unzipped pants or a missing blouse button, it is important to tell someone about minor things that could land them in awkward situations. However, this item suggests following this tip only if a person can address the matter in five minutes.
Otherwise, it would be cruel to talk to them about it. This includes bloating, which is a touchy topic for most people. Then again, there are many reasons this could happen like food intolerance and constipation.
Not Everything Is On The Table
Friends can mostly talk about anything under the sun, but some topics are off-limits due to sensitivity reasons. The truth is that respect plays a big role in relationships, including with a BFF.
This means respecting a person’s decision to discuss matters that are private for them, including intimacy. Seattle Times explains that the individual may not be great at expressing themselves or simply didn’t want to be open about this subject. Either way, prying is not the way to go.
The Million-Dollar Question
Best friends casually ask this question almost always, but as great pals, they follow the unwritten rule of assuring them that they look fine. As harmless as the query sounds, it actually stems from a brutal reality for women in society.
Society has dictated unrealistic standards on women, so much so that not fitting the description could lead to mental health problems. According to Women’s Health, a person who has a healthy body image should feel great and comfortable with her body and skin.
Console Those Who Need It
Now this only works among people who have been close for quite a while. For some reason, agreeing with someone who is going through a rough patch can immensely help them in that time. Being a friend during a breakup means being someone’s strongest wall to lean on in a difficult time.
However, Mind Body Green cautions against trying to convince someone to do something our way because people heal differently. This also means resorting to non-violent communication skills to help them.
Bottom Line: Be Kind
Kindness is never overrated. While many believe that money makes the world go round, many would beg to differ. After all, the worldwide concept of “paying it forward” has set a barrage of random acts of kindness that aims to spread like wildfire.
Psychologist Sandi Mann’s study found that kind people were happier than those who weren’t. And it’s not only limited to individuals who lead a more comfortable life because even the underprivileged were found to be genuinely satisfied with their acts.
For Our Autistic Brothers And Sisters
A study on what breaking rules means for autistic children, as published in “Developmental Cognitive Science,” found that kids with this condition became more frustrated in the situation than those who didn’t have autism.
And that’s because rules, routines, and habits are important for people with autism; after all, they need the situation to be predictable in order to feel safe and secure. As such, this list is helpful for them because not all of them may understand the concert of unspoken rules.
Not Everyone Is Built The Same
Unfortunately, not all women look out for each other despite knowing the unspoken rules. But time and again, experts have told us to prioritize self-care if relationships are beginning to take a toll on mental health.
Self-centered people are easy to spot, but we mostly brush them off because of the bridge that had been built. According to Insider, one-sided conversations are tell-tale signs because this means that the other person is in no way interested in the other individual’s perspective, dilemmas, and ideas.
Respect Begets Respect
Like kindness, respect is also a key value not just in school but also in the workplace. The bottom line is to treat people with respect the same way you want to be treated too. Supervisors can foster a safe working environment for employees.
Live About suggests encouraging workers to freely express their ideas and opinions and teaching them to be open to suggestions to avoid shunning others from contributing. It is also important to let other people talk first and not interrupt.
Know When To Inform Or Opine
Friends’ golden advice is often welcome—but there’s a catch. There’s a borderline between informing for one’s betterment and giving an unsolicited opinion, which may strain the relationship.
Sometimes, people come from a place of concern when giving unsolicited advice. According to VeryWellMind, we think we are altruistic in sharing what we know about the situation. We tend to feel that this is a big help because we are offering a solution, but when not asked, this may rub the person the wrong way.
Common Bra Dilemma Solution
Women don’t always notice when their loose bra straps keep falling so one of the easiest things to do is to whisper to the person concerned. But if someone comes up and asks for help, there are no questions asked: simply do the adjustment.
Glamorise.com explains that loose straps may be due to the wrong undergarment size. The band at the back shouldn’t be above the blades but rather under. Worn-out elastics on the straps can also contribute to this mishap.
What Was Said Is Gone
Rarely do we hear about an amicable breakup because most of the time, two people end a relationship on a bad note. Bad-mouthing a former lover may feel relieving at that moment but it does more harm than good.
Your Tango notes that this can only lead to staying in the phase and delaying moving on. This is because there remains a bad connection between exes. That’s not all, one can feel bad about themselves during the process and may even adversely affect the other party involved.
Secret Code
In times of danger, it is hard to phone a friend without the bad guy noticing it. Many families and friends have created secret codes to know when someone needs rescuing. To others, this could mean sending a text or code word to others.
There are a lot of interesting codes that laypeople are probably not familiar with. The phrase “Operation Rising Star” means that someone has died in a plane, while “Doctor Firestone” at a hospital means a fire.
Strangers Talking To Strangers, No Big Deal
This rule applies to both men and women. There’s an unwritten rule between smokers about hanging around alleys and streets: strangers aren’t total strangers. They talk as if they are close friends even though they don’t know each other’s names.
We were told from childhood never to talk to strangers. However, a 2020 study showed that being isolated from our peers increases the risk of dying prematurely. Of course, this doesn’t mean talking to everyone but being civil enough to engage in friendly conversations.
The Sooner The Excuse Comes Out, The Better
Ah! High school crushes hit differently because a simple smile or “hi” may be enough to make our day. Luckily, we have friends to confide those sweet moments with, who are there to make it even more enjoyable.
There’s an unwritten rule that has them automatically going out of the picture to give way for a person to get her crush’s attention. But then again, Seventeen notes that gal pals also do embarrassing things, including creating a 'ship name and giving their friend “the look” if the crush walks by.
Your Closet, My Closet
At some point, women have borrowed their friend’s clothes—be it for a job interview, a party, or pajamas. A pal’s closet is somewhat an extension of our clothing cabinet. As per Glamour, actress Reese Witherspoon, who starred in “Big Little Lies,” also practiced this with her gal pals.
And there’s no harm in wearing something old. Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales, is known for recycling her outfits. Who could ever forget the Alexander McQueen dress she wore at the 2019 National Portrait gala, which she originally donned two years before?
What’s Yours Is Mine
About the previous item; there’s an unspoken agreement that borrowed clothes may or may not be returned, depending, of course, on how deep the relationship is between two friends. This reminds us of Rentez-Vous, a clothes-sharing campaign that gives anyone access to another person’s pieces.
The term “friendrobes” have also become popular. This underlines the buying power of groups, which also benefits the members because they wouldn’t have to pay for a garment at full price. This will be advantageous for others who don’t have the resources to buy their own.
Be The One To Say It
It may not be wise to go to a stranger and tell them about a skirt tucked in their undergarment but telling them discreetly may be the key. If a man is iffy about telling the woman about the mishap, then perhaps, approaching another girl to tell the person may do the trick.
When we talk about wardrobe malfunctions, it happens to celebs too. One of the most memorable was “Knocked Up” actress Katherine Heigl’s 2016 ShoWest Awards appearance, where the strap of her eye-catching red dress snapped.
Leave Everything And Rush To Support A Friend
Losing someone, either through death or a breakup, can be unbearable and immensely intense to deal with. While many people would want to be alone and require space to ponder what happened, others express the desire to have someone beside them to support them as they tackle.
According to Better Health, those who receive support from friends and family when grieving are less likely to have poor health due to the painful event. Of course, professional help is also advisable.
Share Toilet Paper If Needed
It is only a common courtesy to tell someone if a specific bathroom stall has run out of toilet paper, but all the more for women. If this happens and you have brought extra, it doesn’t hurt to share it with the next person.
According to Buzzfeed, people used hemp, wool, and lace back in the day when tissue wasn’t invented yet. Others who had no resources would resort to corn cobs and dry leaves to wipe their bodies with.
Another Way To Cut The Creeper
Others can’t decline people’s requests, but some simply can’t take “no” for an answer. What do friends do when someone is trying to get to know one of their members? Pretend that they are lovers so that the interested party backs off.
Unfortunately, people who find it hard to deal with a firm “no” can begin to manipulate and retaliate. According to Psych Central, they resort to these maladaptive mechanisms because they don’t have healthy communication techniques, models, and strategies.
Even When Women Don’t Like Each Other
Here we have another situation that would make it seem okay to make another person’s life miserable. But still, this Reddit poster took the high road and still informed her colleague about what was happening behind her back.
This can be a valuable relationship in the workplace. After all, women tend to be competitive against each other due to the availability of positions. As Forbes notes, studies have shown that girls who support girls tend to become more successful in their entrepreneurial endeavors.
No Criticizing Of Their Kind
Women already have enough to juggle daily and certainly don’t need other women to remind them of what doesn’t conform to the norm. For instance, girls have always been associated with the color pink, so wearing blue, green, or hues linked with boys may seem odd.
According to Britannica, it was in the '40s when the color pink was assigned to baby girls and blue to boys. This trend was almost gone by the '60s because of the women's liberation movement.
Pregnant? No?
It pays to be kind to everyone because we don’t know the battles they are facing. This is why women know never to ask another if they are pregnant. Piling on a few pounds doesn’t automatically mean a girl is expecting, so it would be offensive if they hear queries like that.
Aside from bloating, other women are having a hard time conceiving it would be insensitive to even ask about it. Rather wait until someone tells you they have a bun in the oven.
Traveling With Gal Pals
Interestingly, many women like to embark on solo travels. A Booking.com survey in 20-14 showed that 72 percent of girls in the United States want to go on adventures alone and without company.
While this has become the trend as per Instagram reels, we can’t deny the dangers of solo traveling. For girlfriends who love to go out at night, it is better to move out of the establishment together because no one can tell if a squad member would ever make it home.
‘I’m Fine’ Doesn’t Always Mean OK
It has been a running joke among men that women don’t always mean what they say. If women say there’s nothing wrong, there’s a good chance there is. As such, girls have become warier when it comes to reading between the lines.
EliteDaily explains that the simple statement “I’m Fine” could mean many things, including hinting that she is tired and doesn’t want to talk about it. It could also signal that she needs comfort without directly asking for it.
Strong Pack
This unspoken rule is constantly violated, women should never bring others down. In this case, impressing a man doesn’t require making fun of another person because it may even backfire and become a huge turn-off.
Female rivalry is undoubtedly glorified in works of art. Even history is filled with instances of this—we’re looking at Queen Elizabeth and Mary Queen of Scots. As per MarieClaire, the media feeds us with reality shows that show women fighting with each other, just like the “Real Housewives” franchise.
Dependent On The Closeness
Depending on how close two people are, BFFs can be brutally truthful toward each other. It’s not rocket science to know that we want honest friends because this value builds a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
A Wellesley psychologist found that girls who are honest toward each other have happier lives. In this situation, pretty sure that the person will understand where their friend is coming from and would probably be more appreciative that someone told them the truth.
Instagram BFFs
These days, one outfit will warrant tons of snaps in different backgrounds and lights. While men typically don’t have the patience to take photos of their girl, women would understand the requirement.
Therefore, close friends know all about the unspoken rule of taking multiple shots in varying angles—only for one photo to end up in the ‘Gram. Well, “selfitis” is a different case. According to Healthline, this refers to a person’s habit of taking a lot of photos for social media.
Women Deserve Honesty
Not all truths are convenient and pleasing to the ears. Sometimes, they are painful and the least that we expect. But the bottom line is that we want our inner circle to be truthful to us, but sometimes, brutal honesty is not beneficial.
According to Well and Good, this may be linked to a person’s childhood, especially if they have parents who were also brutally honest and they didn’t realize it had affected their upbringing. It could also be a sign that they were trying to be assertive.
Bathroom BFFs
Most women will agree that going to the bathroom means smiling randomly at a stranger or engaging in small talk about clothes, food, or anything under the sun. This is sort of an etiquette at the powder room.
Plus, many friends go to the lady's room together because this is the time they can talk about other people at the table. BFFs also enjoy hitting the bathroom to check each other’s looks and tell if there’s a need for a touch-up.
Be The Lookout
Dating a stranger can be daunting, so a wise move is to have a friend on standby in case there needs to be rescuing. A Hinge survey found that people who are not connected with you in any way are more likely to hide the truth about their profession and personal details.
Of course, it is not to say that dating an acquaintance has no disadvantages. If the date goes awry, friends will easily catch wind of the horror story and may spread it to other groups!
Hey, Love Always Knocks
Falling in love with a friend’s ex is very complicated and may even damage the connection built on trust and care. While it is considered taboo to violate this rule, there are times when it becomes inevitable.
Relatiopnship coaches advise weighing the situation carefully: Has your friend moved on from the person or did the former flame and the girl end things mutually? The important thing is to talk to your BFF and tell them about what’s going on and how serious the connection is.